by Rufus Steigmeier
Fellow Celebrants Premier
Publisher Emeritus for Gaffes & Gambits
Welcome one and all to this week’s edition of Gaffes & Gambits, the first and only periodical devoted exclusively to publishing any news fit to print about the goings-on of the reclusive and hapless FELLOW CELEBRANTS.
As our readership is doubtless already aware, yours truly is not a member of that sad-sack chorus of bleating beasts, the itinerant FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band. In accordance with our bylaws, only members of the Council of Elders are permitted to write and perform musical numbers, and for that I am most grateful.
For the uninitiated, the council is comprised of Elders Higgins, Gierhan, Lane, and McConnell, and I must regretfully divulge to our readers that this is without a doubt the sorriest bunch to ever set foot on a public stage. As Premier, my purview includes the responsibility of critiquing the Elders’ compositions and coordinating their public appearances. Though I bear happily the responsibilities attendant to my rank, I confess that managing (perhaps ‘handling’ is a better description) the loathsome and unruly Elders is a dull, charmless, and often infuriating task, as our readership will discover for itself in due course.
Fellow Celebrants 