Tag: fellow celebrants

ITEM: CELEBRANTS TO PERFORM ONCE MORE

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Heedless of my advice, the FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band have announced their intention to perform publicly once more.  The unfortunate host for this desperate act is the tasting room of hallowed Biddeford-based BANDED HORN BREWING COMPANY whose founder, one IAN McCONNELL, is none other than Elder McConnell, Drumming Minister for the FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band! Portland’s KGFREEZE headlines this hullabaloo. Biddeford-based MILL FIRE and Portland-based MIRTH round out the line-up.

 

ITEM: CELEBRANTS TO PERFORM AGAIN, AGAIN

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Heedless of my advice, the FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band have announced their intention to perform publicly… again :-/  The unfortunate host for this act of unspeakable mischief is the tasting room of hallowed Biddeford-based BANDED HORN BREWING COMPANY whose founder, one IAN McCONNELL, is none other than Elder McConnell, Drumming Minister for the FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band! Also performing are Biddeford-based OLD ETC and Portland-based COOL TARA, bands whose material is both available and absolutely worth listening to at their respective bandcamp pages (  OLD ETC HERE,  COOL TARA HERE ).

$7 at the door and enough quality ale to get yours truly through an entire FC set.

To make matters worse, they’ll take the stage again June 2, this time at the Portland House of Music. More on that story as it unfolds.

In conclusion — with nary a thought for the psychic horror which so often accompanies this sort of selfish swaggering and grandstanding, the FELLOW CELEBRANTS Council of Elders show themselves to be little more than bleating beasts desperate for the embrace of a fickle public.

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by Rufus Steigmeier
Fellow Celebrants Premier
Publisher Emeritus for Gaffes & Gambits

ITEM! FELLOW CELEBRANTS SIGHTED

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by Rufus Steigmeier
Fellow Celebrants Premier
Publisher Emeritus for Gaffes & Gambits

Believe it, gang. Though I personally doubted they’d ever emerge, the FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band appeared just as planned Saturday night at Geno’s Rock Club in Portland, ME. They shared the stage with the likes of Bangor-based WAIT, Biddeford-based OLD ETC, and Portland-based RIGOR SAMSA. Songs were performed, applause was offered, drinks were drunk, balls were foosed, and hands were shook, indicating a successful evening of music and merriment. Wait, Old Etc, and Rigor Samsa all acquitted themselves admirably, and are deserving of praise and public acclaim. Of the FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band, suffice to say that everyone has a first show. As Premier of FELLOW CELEBRANTS, I expect the Council of Elders to right the figurative ship in subsequent performances.

Against my better judgment, I invite you to sample the following live audio recordings, cunningly captured by Elder Gierhan’s significant personal acquaintance, one “KelsMoney.” Using only her wits and a mobile phone concealed in her pocket, KMONEY successfully pirated the majority of FELLOW CELEBRANTS’ live set.

Click this link to listen. You’ve been warned. 

Yes, dear reader, it’s all there. Relive the drama of FELLOW CELEBRANTS’ inaugural public appearance. Highlights include:

  • Elders Gierhan and McConnell performing their rhythm section duties with confidence and precision.
  • Elder Lane’s and Elder Higgins’ largely successful efforts to perform their guitar parts correctly.
  • Elder Higgins’ adorable tuning debacle at the beginning of “A Metal Man Considers Anarchy.”
  • Elder Lane’s journey from anxiety to ecstatic bliss to utter madness. Unforgettable!
  • Elder Lane’s bewilderment upon transitioning too early from the bridge in “Brother | Proto Man.”
  • The Elders’ collective confusion after completely skipping over a critical moment in “Concerning Skull Man | Cossack.”
  • The fruits of Elder Lane’s chronic refusal to commit his own lyrics to memory.
  • The fruits of Elder Lane’s futile attempts to suppress flu symptoms on stage.
  • Elder Lane’s regrettable decision to use his sweatshirt in lieu of more socially acceptable nose-blowing products.

Gaffes & Gambits: The FC Blog

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by Rufus Steigmeier
Fellow Celebrants Premier
Publisher Emeritus for Gaffes & Gambits

Welcome one and all to this week’s edition of Gaffes & Gambits, the first and only periodical devoted exclusively to publishing any news fit to print about the goings-on of the reclusive and hapless FELLOW CELEBRANTS.

As our readership is doubtless already aware, yours truly is not a member of that sad-sack chorus of bleating beasts, the itinerant FELLOW CELEBRANTS road-show and musical band. In accordance with our bylaws, only members of the Council of Elders are permitted to write and perform musical numbers, and for that I am most grateful. 

For the uninitiated, the council is comprised of Elders Higgins, Gierhan, Lane, and McConnell, and I must regretfully divulge to our readers that this is without a doubt the sorriest bunch to ever set foot on a public stage. As Premier, my purview includes the responsibility of critiquing the Elders’ compositions and coordinating their public appearances. Though I bear happily the responsibilities attendant to my rank, I confess that managing (perhaps ‘handling’ is a better description) the loathsome and unruly Elders is a dull, charmless, and often infuriating task, as our readership will discover for itself in due course.